Any way you want it, especially if what you want is more glitter (ノ°ο°)ノ☆･:*

Yeah, I guess mobile games exist, too.

Now, some people will argue that mobile games aren’t necessarily video games, and if they are, then they aren’t on the same level.

It is kind of hard to take mobile games seriously when they’re so littered with advertisements and 60 second long commercials that play between rounds, ironically advertising other mobile games. It almost feels lawless.

But the idea of ultimate mobility is incredibly appealing, so much so that many companies have given it their best shot. The Playstation Vita, for instance, which I always wanted and then eventually forgot existed until writing this line just now.

On a more successful note, the Nintendo Switch. I couldn’t tell you the number of times I’ve seen someone on campus playing on their Switch.

Oh wait, yes I can. Once. I’ve only seen it one time.

Personally, my childhood mobile device of choice was the Gameboy and eventually, the Nintendo DS systems. My rate of finishing games is already low, but they’re near 0% on the DS. I don’t really know why that is, just that I have a hard time immersing myself in a DS game versus a console or PC game. In my defense, there are exceptions. I’ve played through more than half of the Pokemon games, one of the Cooking Mamas, and the Happy Feet game they released for the first movie.

So someone smart thought, hey, why don’t we just make games for our phones? I mean, we’re already holding them all the time, why not just put the games on that?

Now we can play games e v e r y w h e r e. On the bus, in an elevator, at full volume during class, even places where we really shouldn’t. I couldn’t count the number of times I’ve seen people going into the bathroom holding their phone only to drop it on the floor while they’re on the toilet.

Oh wait, yes I can. THREE TIMES. GET IT TOGETHER, PEOPLE.

Three is too high.

But I can’t blame them. Mobile games can be incredibly addictive. Which, oh would you look at that, brings me back to the topic at hand: mobile games. I bet you didn’t think I could make it back here, did you? But I did. I allllways do.

Yeah, I’m not a huge fan of mobile games.

Not to pull a Shyamalan twist on y’all, but I only play two, count ’em, TWO, games on my phone, and one of them I hate so much. The other is Robot Unicorn Attack 2.

If you haven’t played RUA2 is an endless runner where you play, surprise, a Robot Unicorn. It’s about as fun as it sounds. You jump through the level, collecting fairies and teardrops, dashing through stars and giants, and attempting not to crash and die in a fiery blaze. You get three separate lives per play which are adorably called “wishes,” and your score from all three wishes are tallied at the end for a total sum.

It’s pretty repetitive, but then most endless runners are. Usually you have to play the same parts over and over, especially at the beginning of a run.

Probably the only reason why this game is even on my list is because (surprise!) it’s deeply rooted in an event from my youth.

Story time. I was talked into joining a student organization in high school that I had no interest in, and anytime I tried to leave, I was barraged by people pleading for me to stay. I had a jellyspine, so I stayed.

Eventually, we went to this huge event where tons of schools met up at a hotel for a whole weekend, participating in events and mingling. The daily schedules were really full.

It sounds nice, but to this day it was the worst weekend of my life. We were confined to our rooms, supervised 24/7. We had 2 beds and 4 people. I was 18 and couldn’t find anyone my age, only freshman that were trying to impress each other with Goat Simulator and edgy jokes. Over controlling volunteers dictated our access to elevators. One time we were let out early and tried to go back to our rooms, but the volunteer wouldn’t let us use the elevators and we had to wait 3 hours to go to our rooms. There were a few ceremonies I was told I didn’t have to attend, and then last minute it was decided attendance was mandatory. A roommate came onto me just enough to make me uncomfortable for the rest of the weekend. A rash formed over the backs of my hands from the hotel soap, growing in severity until I realized the cause on the second to last day.

So bored, grumpy, itchy me was left sitting in a room for hours on end with only my phone on hand. You can probably see where I’m going with this.

I had dabbled in RUA2 until then, but that weekend, I became a true aficionado.

Even when I was tired of playing the same map over and over again, and my butt was falling asleep from sitting in the same pose for too long, and my phone was dying, I had to keep playing. Half of it was because there was truly nothing better to do and it did well to distract from the horrible, clawing redness taking over my hands, but half was an intense desire.

And that desire, that one thing that made it all better, was the drive to craft the perfect unicorn specimen.

Let me explain. While playing, you collect teardrops which act as currency. You can spend these on unicorn modifications, from bodies to wings and everything in between. There are some really lame parts, but buried hidden between those are some really cool combinations. And my goal, which I happily met that weekend, was to collect all the best parts (which happened to be the most expensive ones) and create the most majestic, creepy, OP unicorn that has perhaps ever graced a phone.

A nice bonus is that RUA2 isn’t completely obliterated by ads and the goals are very achievable without feeding money into it. It is a little grindy, but put on a good playlist and you’re basically set. Granted, I tend to like the grind, so it isn’t a detraction for me.

It’s actually really refreshing the amount of detail they put into the game. To me, mobile games tend to all feel like copies of one another, especially when it’s a popular trend like endless runner or city builders. The skeleton of all these games are the same, and more often than not, it feels like whoever made it is just slapping on a cheap coat of paint to sell adspace while you play.

RUA2 is perfect at this. Just by name alone, it claims a unique premise that makes anything like it a copycat. I mean, how many games can be about robot unicorns without stepping on their toes?

And then there’s the detail and uniqueness of the unicorns themselves. I was a little worried how footage from my tiny iPhone would transfer to a computer screen, but I have to say, it looks surprisingly amazing. I couldn’t count the number of times I’ve needlessly returned to the menu just because I want to see my unicorn close up, tossing its mane in the wind like a majestic… majestic…

Huh. Majestic something. Unicorn, I guess.

I love my unicorn. If I’m being completely objective, it’s probably the best one out there.

Maybe all these reasons are why RUA2 is one of the few mobile games I play.

And now, gaze upon my unicorn, Princess Sparkledeath, in splendor. Kneel to her glory.

Also yeah, I know my unicorn doesn’t have wings. I’m not about that. Flying is the coward’s way out.

cover image source: Robot Unicorn Attack 2 Trailer for iPhone & iPad